Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
