I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
