I understand Curling. That high.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
