If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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