Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
