hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
