Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
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