I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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