Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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