So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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