mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize