in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
