She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
