i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize