Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
