we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
