his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
