are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
