i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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