He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize