Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
