Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You have to summon your inner elephant
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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