I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
