thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
