my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
