If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
