So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
