He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
