I murdered the dance floor call the cops
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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