Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize