On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
