Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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