Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
