is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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