Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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