so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I need moral support for this bender
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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