your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
