Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Randomize
