Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize