Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
