I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
