Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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