They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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