she looked like the bat from fern gully.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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