Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
