Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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