don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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