Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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