just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
if i died would you start the facebook group?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
She's the barista slut.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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