my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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