the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
