Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
