would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
