you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
