i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
