thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
