Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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