I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
cat food counts as protein by the way
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
How external is "for external use only"?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
