The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
