i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
