'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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