i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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