grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
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