Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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