I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
