So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
